It began to get ridiculous. Milt and Honey were making love everywhere. It’s as though they had to declare each nook and cranny as their turf by making love in it, on it, at it, or beside it. Like a dog peeing on every rock and post to mark his territory.
It was good lovemaking. It was free and bright and untarnished by guilt of any kind. Milton Korn and Honey Bloom had found each other through unexpected circumstances. Neither was trolling or hunting for a lover. It just happened in that way that is always so much more wonderful than when a chase is required.
Of course, Milton was not a worldly type, and wouldn’t know a seduction if it reached into his pants. Of course Honey pursued Milt in a subtle way. She was not toying with Milt, and it’s logical that Milt would have thought she was. It’s not that Milt was unattractive; it’s that he didn’t see himself as attractive. Of course, at five feet ten inches tall he was two inches shorter than Honey. There was nothing wrong with his physique and Honey later wondered why he was insecure about it.
Throughout her life, Honey had been accustomed to attracting the boldest men. These were men who thought enough of themselves to be confident in an approach to a woman of striking good looks. She had beautiful chestnut hair, green eyes, long legs, slender hips and a narrow waist with breasts that were perfectly proportioned to her overall physique. To have been inflamed by her is natural, and Milton certainly was. He did not, however, entertain thoughts of being her lover and living with her.
They maintained a successful working relationship at the office. Their boss was pleased that they shared an abode because he knew they would discuss their projects at home, and it was like getting another half day out of each of them. At the same time, the harmony in their relationship increased because they shared all their responsibilities in earning and in living.
“I think it’s time for horses,” Honey said while driving them home from the office one Friday afternoon.
“What do you mean,” Milt said. “What is ‘time for horses’?”
“By the end of June the Carlton’s will harvest the first hay of the season,” said Honey. “After that, for a short time we can graze horses on the stubble, then turn them out to the pasture where they can nibble and poop all day long. They’d have water in the creek, shelter in the forest and food all over the ground.
“Graze what horses?” he said.
“I think it’s time we bought a couple of horses for a hobby,” she said.
“Hobby horses? Sure,” said Milton. “We’ll go by Toys R Us. They probably have some.”
“Quit screwing around, Milt,” said Honey.
“I don’t know anything about horses or riding or any of that stuff,” said Milt.
“I can teach you,” she said. “I had lessons for several years and I worked on my father’s hobby farm every summer. I know how to feed them, how to handle them and how to ride them.”
“But they’re big and strong and stupid,” Milton said. “They kick and their feet are made of stone.”
“They’re just big toenails,” Honey laughed. “You don’t think of the good parts. They’re warm and gentle and obedient when they’re trained. They can carry you through raw forest and across rushing streams with ease. Or they can thrill the crap out of you on a cantor or a gallop across a meadow.
“Who cleans up the shit,” said Milt.
“We do,” said Honey. “It’s a good way to watch the animals’ health by the condition of their droppings which later are the best fertilizer.”
“I think it’s a mistake,” said Milt.
“Okay, Milt, if you want to reject a lot of fun, it’s up to you,” Honey said. “I’m getting a couple of horses anyway.”
“You only need one,” said Milt.
“I might have friends out for weekends sometimes,” said Honey. “We might want to go for rides together.”
“What friends,” said Milton.
“I don’t know,” said Honey. “Just friends.”