The Endless Male/Female Thing

We are but mammals after all, and we should consider ourselves as such. In some ways, we are mammals like porpoises, and in some ways, we are mammals like grizzly bears. We are like lions and lionesses, rams and ewes, hogs and sows and every mammal in some ways. We mammals live through the basic, necessary drives and instincts that every living thing has, by design. The designer, of course, is nature. Natural selection has assured our survival for eons of time – but not for eternity.

Each male, be it mosquito, Cape buffalo, or man, is driven by the need to spread his seed to assure his genetic continuance. Our contemporary human society requires the agreement of the female be the deciding factor leading to copulation. Also in contemporary society, copulation has become either a love dance, or a merely physical gratification or challenge. It’s out of step with the genetic urges that develop in people.

The female mammal should be ‘in heat’ for successful propagation. In many species, the presence of an eager male can put the female in a receptive role. The human body rarely, but sometimes, has the same effect on a woman and a man. I believe there is a fragrance, an undetectable scent that makes a man become drawn to a woman and a woman toward a man. The same is true of every other gender group, as there are now about six different gender identities.

Among men and women, artificial stimulants are employed to attract ‘mates’. Sometimes it’s for a quickie, other times to establish a clandestine affair, still other times to mate with a permanent partner to establish a household and family. The kinds of stimulus employed vary greatly, and when true love is the goal, there can be a lot of errors and miscommunication.

To step away from the subject of mammals for a moment, I introduce an interesting raptor – a bird. You might know that in the world of birds, usually the male is colourful and the female is bland, for reasons of camouflage. The male has the bright plumage as an asset in attracting a mate.

The one bird to which I refer, is a male with bland plumage. In his need to mate, he creates a colourful nesting place. He gathers colourful flowers, bits of string and plastic and places them in the foliage surrounding his ‘den’. He sings his song, the ladybird peeks in and sees the attractive décor and agrees to stay a while and perhaps get pregnant.

A man is really just a male primate. If one lacks the ‘plumage’ like the luckless bird, one has to find a way to attract a mate. A man that is perhaps less attractive than the average person, might acquire property. A home, a condominium, or a weekend cottage would help to make a plain man attractive to any potential mate. He could also wear good, tasteful clothes and drive an impressive car. He could be an athlete, a personality or a politician, which would make a plain person more attractive.

I feel we can understand how a man presents himself in order to attract a mate. I find it more difficult to be at ease with the woman’s situation. I’m a man, and that puts me at a considerable disadvantage when musing about women. I noticed something that’s always been obvious, but I just never felt curious about it. In television news, there are massive ‘sets’, with stools and desks and everything appearing to be more like a carnival than a news service – but that’s another rant.

My observation was: all the female news people were beautiful, and turned out magnificently, in colourful dresses that clung to their bodies, and hair styled perfectly. The male news people, on the other hand, might have been handsome, but not necessarily. Some were old and grey, some were obese, some were bald, and it didn’t seem to mean much. While the ladies were slim and colourful, the men were all the same: dark suit, light shirt, tasteful tie… standard, it seems. That brings me to my conundrum.

I acknowledge that the average guy wants to have sex virtually all the time. We can’t not look at a woman and wonder what she’s like. In a nanosecond, a man analyses the probabilities of her life, and would I want to have sex with her if she wanted me to. This is just walking by on the street, or seeing her step out of her car. There is an instant interest and evaluation of the possibilities.

I don’t know what the woman feels, but it sometimes looks like most women are looking as attractive as they can. It’s said that women do not dress for men, but rather dress for other women. I guess it’s sort of a competition, along with the rich colour on moist lips, a brushed blush on the cheek, fragrance on the throat, and eye enhancing lines and colours. This can be very attractive to a guy, or girl, or anyone sensitive to beauty.

In this situation, swimming throughout society, males who just naturally want to have sex. Not to make love – making love is different and better. As difficult as it is to find the perfect lover, when it happens it can be real love, which is precious. At the same time, sex without love is not bad, it’s just not the best.

I will always wonder about our society. Males always want IT, with most women they see. Women sometimes want IT, and those times are terribly difficult for the male to know. Is that cleavage an invitation to a conversation or is it just the stylish dress? Is that attractive dress meant to attract me, or the butcher at the meat counter.

We, the people of the world, are so varied that we must communicate with many others to find those with whom we fit. Be thoughtful about what you want because you might get it… and good luck.

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